Free Airline Class Upgrade – Yeah, right!

I am a frequent flyer.  That means I pay great amounts of money to put myself in frustrating positions so I will be late to appointments.

I doubt if the airlines would describe it that way; but if they were honest, they would.

So, due to the logistics of where I live, my choice of airlines is pretty limited. There are three airlines right now, and Delta is pulling out at the end of August, leaving us with only two, United Express and Horizon (Alaska’s commuter). Because United goes to more places, I usually take them (begrudgingly) but I think Horizon has better service — by far.

Since I use United, I have a United Frequent Flyer Mileage Plus Credit Card from Chase bank. I get 1 mile for every dollar I spend. In addition, they give me some  great certificates each year.

That’s where my gripe comes in

I have received three – count ‘em – three, certificates over the past year from United for a “buy one, get one free” ticket. I book a ticket to anywhere United goes in the continental U.S. and I can bring someone with me. (Restrictions –  loads and loads and loads and loads of restrictions — apply.) I have never been able to use even one certificate, due to the time of year, the flight availability, the choice of airports, the color of my hair, what I’m wearing… It’s just a big pain in the butt to even try. And to make matters worse, you cannot use them on line, you have to call in, wade through 20 minutes of voice mail trees, and then get someone who doesn’t understant what you want.

Got Frustration? You betcha.

So, I call Chase and say I want to know my options. I don’t need to pay $150 a year for the priviledge of being treated like an idiot. I know people who can do that for free.

Chase offers me a lower price card that still gets me the mileage I want, but I lose the useless BOGO certificates. “Fine with me,” I say, “I can’t use them anyway.” They send me my new card and, as a thank you, United sends me two certificates:

1. One free upgrade on any 1,000 mile ticket
2. $25 off any ticket

Trying to use them

So, I’m booked to speak at the Cascade Public School System on August 31. I reserve my tickets, and one leg of that ticket is a United flight from Seattle to SFO. It’s under 1,000 miles and it’s one day before the certificate expires. I figure, I might as well try and use it. I normally wouldn’t take a 1st class upgrade on a 700 mile flight (not worth it), but since I have it, what the heck?

Your call is important to us...

I call the number and wade through 15 minutes of voice mail prompts, none of which fit what I’m calling about. (Note to voice mail companies: DO NOT — repeat DO NOT — have your inane voice mail say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand what you were saying.” It’s a freakin’ machine. It’s not sorry. It’s a lie.  Oops, excuse me, but I feel better now.) Finally, I hook up with Mileage Plus and explain that I want to apply my certificate to the ticket I have on September 1. She tells me that I need to hook up with rservations. (Arrgggh!) She transfers me.

Wait on hold. Insipid music. “We’re sorry… blah blah blah…

Gentleman comes on; to United’s credit, he has the whole story already. OK, I think. They’re at least not making me pass along the whole saga again; good for them.  He looks up the ticket and says, “I’m sorry sir. The certificate you have is not valid for that flight.”

“Why?” I ask, “It’s under 1,000 miles. It’s before the due date.”

“Because you must have a full fare economy ticket. You don’t. You bought your ticket through a travel agency and it’s another class of ticket. So, we can’t apply it.”

“Actually, I bought it through Orbitz, but I guess that’s close enough. So, how can I use it?”

“You’d have to call United and book your ticket directly through us and then we could apply the certificate.”

“Can’t I do it online?” I ask. “I don’t mean to be rude but wading through 25 minutes of voice mail trees just to book a ticket is kind of a pain. It’s much easier to do it on line.”

“No sir. It has to be on-line.”

Discouraged, but not totally surprised, I accept the ruling and move to the next topic.

“OK, I’ve also got this $25 certificate and I need to book some travel later in the year. How do I use that?”

WTF: How t-Post magazine promotes itself

A few months ago, I wrote about some really unusual magazines. Of course, that would mean they might use some really unusual advertising. After the jump, you will find a video from T-Post Magazine, a magazine that uses t-shirts as their medium, as to how they promote their magazine.

(I have put it after the jump because some of the language might be offensive to some.)

A Tale of Great Service and Broken Starbucks Coffee Grinders

I believe the ultimate form of marketing is good customer service and I find myself praising Starbucks for how they are handling their coffee grinder recall. You probably don’t care too much about their recall, unless you own one of the offending units.

I do.

The Villain!

We got the unit several years ago and about a year or so ago, it started acting strangely. Upon putting the plug into the socket, the blades would start to spin immediately, whether or not the top was on the unit. That can be a problem as the blades are extremely sharp and if it can chop coffee beans to Kingdom Come, imagine what it can do with one’s fingers. Of course, there’s also the extra problem that usually, when one is preparing coffee, he is not quite awake, so the risk of inserting finger A into coffee grinder B is amplified. However, a clearer head and prudence prevailed and we learned to adapt by making sure the lid was closed prior to inserting the plug. (Made for an interesting pattern of ground coffee sprayed around the kitchen before we learned that lesson.) And, over time, the unit began working correctly; so we assumed the button on the bottom of the lid had simply become stuck for awhile and had now returned to its corrected state.

However, a few months ago, the problem repeated itself; and this time — no matter what we tried — it would not stop. And so it remains to this day.

Does anybody really pay attention to those TV news crawlers?

I guess so because as I was getting my dose of daily news, along the bottom of the CNN screen, I saw that Starbucks coffee grinders were being recalled.

I went to the website and there was a special link if you had one of the grinders, made from 2002-present. It said to call the company if you had one.

Expecting the worst, I picked up the phone and dialed the number.

Voice on other end: Hello, this is Mike from Starbucks. What can I do for you?

Me: Oh! Excuse me! I thought I’d get one of those endless voice mail trees.

Mike: Nope, just me. Sorry to disappoint (laughs). What can I do for you?

Me: I’ve got one of those coffee grinders and it’s doing exactly what they say it’s not supposed to do on your website. I thought it was just getting old but I guess it’s got a problem.

Mike: OK, we’ll take it back and send you a new one.

Me: Does it matter how long I’ve had it?

Mike: No.

Me: I don’t have a receipt.

Mike: No problem. Can you tell me what color it is?

Me: It’s the silver one.

Mike: OK, the only problem is the replacement ones are black. Will that be a problem for you?

Me: I don’t care. I think I prefer black. What do I do?

Mike: We’ll send you a postage paid UPS label. You put the unit in a box, seal it up, slap on the label and drop it off at a UPS location. Once we get it, we’ll send you a new one.

Me: That’s it? How long does it take?

Mike: It’ll take about eight weeks.

Me: Oh, so I’m without coffee until then unless I grind it before I bring it home.

Mike: Yeah, that’s the only downside. However, if you bring your coffee into a Starbucks store, we’ll grind it for you. All I need is your contact information.

Me: Can you email me the label?

Mike: Sure.

And do he did.

Pet Peeve: Charging for water?!

OK, I really get it, I understand that companies have to make a profit, and I know that the movie industry is having some tough times. But, really, charging me 25 cents to get a cup of water?! I mean, on top of the outlandish price for the movie, they couldn’t just comp me the water?

And they wonder why people stay home and rent movies!

As a dear friend of mine who runs a very profitable business says about customer service, “find ways to give them free stuff!”

Public Option/Single Payer/Socialized Medicine Debate

One of the problems in marketing, IMHO, is that too often the people talking about the issues forget that they are not the ones who are important. It’s the people listening. So, because they don’t remember that, they throw jargon about and use terms that the average person doesn’t follow. It’s not that he or she is stupid, it’s that he or she has a life and is very busy with that life. So, he’s not inclined to pay attention to something that doesn’t immediately impact him. You can judge that, sure; but if the intent is to get through the noise, you’re better off working within those parameters than railing against them.

An urgent debate about health care

Arguably, no matter on which side you find yourself, you have to admit that the current debate on the future of health care is vital. It affects us in so many ways:

• Our health (uh, duh…)
• Personal budget
• National budget
• Future of our country
• Direction of industry
• Livelihood of millions
• Even what it says about our country’s priorities

So, why do those debating the issue throw around terms like, “Public Option” and “Single Payer?” How does that connect to me? I mean, when I think about it, I understand what that means, but really, can we put it into simple English?

One company’s method of doing that

The right side of our political spectrum is making hay with the term “socialized medicine.” That’s an emotional experession, and relates to the values of many in our country. (I’ll leave my own views out of it for now.)  And, it appears to be making some traction.  Therefore, to counteract the “dangers of socialized medicine” and to get people to question why private insurance companies are natually consider better (to some) than would be a government option, HAARM.org has released some very clever videos. (Full disclosure alert: HAARM, “healthy Americans against reforming medicine,”  is a work of parody by SEIU’s Change That Works campaign.)

In this video, look at how they poke fun at all their opposition’s main talking points.

If you’re conservative, you’re probably pulling your hair out right now. If you’re liberal, you’re probably laughing. Either way, it breaks through the noise and gets you pay attention.

The first rule of marketing is getting someone’s attention.

This does it.

If you’d like to see another ad by haarm.org about “private fire insurance”, you can go to my facebook page or you can see it after the jump. Very funny.

First Analysis of the International Inspiration Index

The purpose of the I3 (The International Inspiration Index) is to get a feel for how people are feeling, what’s bothering them, and their outlook for the future. It started in late April, 2009 so we now have two months to analyze. This is the first post and I’m very excited. I plan to make this an ongoing report.

If you would like to take the ongoing I3 survey, go to www.Motivation2009.com.

First question: How’s your personal attitude

Although our sample size is small (averaging 24 per month for the first two months), the average person rated his or her attitude on a one to five scale as 3.8 in May. Although April was not a full month, it rated a 3.4, so technically we could say that we’re feeling better in May than we were in April.

Some of the specific concerns and comments from people regarding their attitude include family members being deployed to Iraq all the way to lamenting one’s biorhythms, the phase of the moon. As one survey taker responded in April,

“Considering being unemployed & working contract work, it’s pretty good. I try to stay busy and focused on positive things. I find myself lost at times dealing w/ my husband’s insecurities as he is the main bread winner for the first time since we’ll been a couple. We are doing okay financially, but he finds it hard for me to be away at events for networking opportunities and he has to watch the kids (ages 2/6). Maybe too much information =0)”

One other person had an interesting take on how to improve your attitude:

“I am making little money right now but taking up sea kayaking. I capsized in 50 degree water on Saturday. That will wake you up!”

Second Question: How is the attitude among your co-workers?

I have asked this question in repeated surveys to audiences around the country. Consistently, we think our attitude is better than those with whom we work. Of course, it’s interesting to ponder if they think the same as we do. That said, it climbed from 3.0 in April to 3.3 in May, 2009.

Although many people commented on their fear for the economy (see question #3), there were a few salient comments worth noting:

“As I share my story with people, I notice that few really “get it.” Even close friends and family have a hard time understanding everything I’m feeling. I work closely with people in the broadcasting field that thrive on negativity. Well, maybe “thrive” isn’t the right word. They celebrate negativity because it makes them feel better somehow? That doesn’t make sense really. Then there are some people around me that are truly inspirational. They’re completely in charge of their happiness!”

The perfect summation might be from one respondent,

“It’s kinda like a roller coaster really.”

Dark line is "Your" attitude, Light line is "others" attitude -- click on image to enlarge

Question Three: What concerns you?

(What concerns you and what you predict for the future is after the jump)

In this question, respondents were asked to rate on a one to five scale, the top three things concerning them. In April, the top three were Economy (4.3) and My Personal Job as well as The Environment tied for #2 with a 3.6.

Management’s Prayer

The prayer of every manager from a presentation I did for Hospitality 101. I hope you enjoy:

So far today, God, my employees have been just great!  They haven’t grumbled, lost tempers, 
gotten grumpy, nasty, selfish, over-indulgent, 
or told any customers to mind their own business and 
“figure it out for yourself!”  I really am glad about that!

But, in a few minutes, God, we’re going to open the store –

and from then on I’m probably going to need a lot more help.

OOPS! Marketing Error on Behalf of Luggage Company

I realize I’m not the only person in the world with an opinion, but those people who don’t have many; don’t worry, I’ve got enough to share. Since I have a high quota of opinions I must keep up, I’m always looking for things to judge — er, um, I mean, “evaluate.” One of those happily popped into my field of view within the last couple of days. To me, it’s an example of a company trying to improve a product, but actually going backwards. Now, mind you, I could be wrong, maybe the improvement has helped their sales or it fills a new niche, but in my case, it caused them to lose 29%.

So, pour yourself a cup of coffee (or tea if you’re a little agitated) and sit back while I relay the story of:

“The Little Suitcase That Didn’t”

The history

I am hard on suitcases. I travel a lot. Therefore so do my suitcases. Most of the time, they stay with me; periodically, the airlines send them on magical and mysterious journeys of their own where they visit far away lands without me, usually coming back days later (but leaving me in my travel clothes for days at a time). In order to prevent this from happening, as well as to have the ability to catch earlier flights (which you cannot do if you check your luggage), I have become relatively proficient at packing what I need in one carry-on suitcase and one computer travel bag (referred to as my “personal item” by the airlines).

It is not easy to pack seven days of clothing, books, accutrements, and products into one 22-inch suitcase so I look for one with a large interior as well as outside pockets. I had found such a wonderful suitcase (put out my Costco, called “The Smuggler” — and kudos to them. It’s a great suitcase.) However, after several years, its little wheels are coming off, the zipper jams, it’s hard to close. It’s just — like the rest of us — not as easy to use as it was.

Off to find a new suitcase

I rejected many, but last week, in light of a looming travel deadline, I found a great one by American Tourister. (It’s the suitcase on the right in the image to the left.) It’s a name I trust. It was a sold suitcase. It had lots of room and pockets on the outside.  It even was what they call a “spinner” with four wheels instead of two so it moves in all directions. And, it had a flat top. That might not seem important to you but I place my computer bag on the top of the suitcase, securing it to the extended handle, so I don’t have to lug two bags across the airport, only having to pull one. It’s convenient. Many people do it; who know? You might be one of them.

I brought in home, played with it, made sure everything worked, examined the pockets, caressed its material (oops, I didn’t really do that, just got carried away in my writing…). We were going to spend a lot of time together, I wanted it to feel at home. I knew we were going to be very happy together.

(insert dramatic music here...)

The Problems Begin!

(exciting action videos after the jump...)

Unusual — very unusual — magazines

My friend, associate, fellow NSA member, and now co-editor on Professionally Speaking magazine,  Ian Griffin, forwarded to me an article from the Wall Street Journal about really unique, very high-end magazines.

To read it, follow this link. However, the WSJ is learning from the current newspaper/print-media crisis and apparently has some system that when you send a link, it only remains active for seven days if you’re not already a subscriber of theirs so if you’re not reading this soon after I posted it, you’re outta luck. So, below I’ll do a little recap and you can find some of the links to their sites here.

Am I Charging Enough?

My magazine, Two Words, is printed using HP’s MagCloud service, which — as I’ve mentioned before — is similar to a print-on-demand service for magazines. (Of course, it’s good for any four page color material you might want to print.) It’s really high-quality and I believe it fills a hole for those of us who don’t want to (or can’t) print thousands of copies. However, it’s still relatively expensive, turning out to be about 20¢ per page. Therefore, my first issue cost me $4 a copy.

I understand that my magazines is not going to make me rich (yet) and my goal is to build up 1,000 subscribers but the whole “cost thing” has made it difficult to justify much profit because most people are not willing to pay $5 or $6 (plus postage) for a 20 page magazine. I’ve tried to overcome that by making it aestically pleasing (and have received several wonderful comments about that). Yet, it’s somewhat of an obstacle.

Poverty Consciousness?

A few months ago, I was fortunate enough to meet with marketing expert Ford Seaks at our NSA chapter meeting. He, myself, and a few other people had dinner in the hotel the night before he was doing a presentation for us. There were only six of us and he gave us a few hours. Since it was such an intimate group, we spent a lot of time talking. Since I came from the furthest location (with my friend Jess Petit), he focused on my questions. It was a “hot seat” kind of thing where he dug deep and tried to help me really figure out ways to take my career to another level.

At the risk of this beginning to sound like a therapy session, what came up over the 90 minutes or so was that I still tend to function from a “poverty consciousness” kind of place. What he didn’t know is how far I’ve come from a lower-middle-class background but, in retrospect, he was still spot on.

I think that might be what’s happening with the magazine.

Turning it Around

I always tell people — and I’m so much better about giving other people advice than I am about it for myself — “don’t cut the costs if you can increase the value.” These magazines are doing that, charging as much as $5,000 for one particular issue (sic)! But, it’s what they do to justify it that matters (and granted most of the magazines are nowhere near that price.) Quoting from the WSJ,

But today, at a particularly tough time for magazines, a number of publications are again looking beyond the standard glossy format, experimenting with different manifestations of what a magazine can be. In doing so, they are offering their readers special experiences that Web sites and other free-content digital distractions can’t match.

These are publications that revel in their 3D-ness, special objects that demand deeper interaction from their readers than the average print magazine. Taking advantage of recent advances in printing technology, these publications are determinedly nonconformist in everything they do. But they are, in essence, magazines — curated, regular compilations of content with clear selection criteria, consistent design and an individual voice.

So, with that in mind, here are a couple of the magazines that most impressed me with descriptions from the WSJ article.

T-Post

It’s a magazine you can wear!

Really clever ad campaign for Hyatt

Called “Pasty White Chicks in Need of a Tan,” I was sucked in to this video while surfing the web. It’s so low-key that I had no idea what they were promoting so I sat through all 56 seconds to find out. That’s one sign of a great ad campaign! (By the way, notice the one quick comment about Paris, funny.)

Kudos to Hyatt!